Mengele: “I am in total, absolute, awe of you, Tony!”
Fauci: “How’s that, partner?”
Mengele: “I thought I was setting a new standard but you put the ‘D’ in Diabolical!”
Fauci: “Wow, that’s high praise coming from you. You were my hero, my icon, my inspiration you know.”
Mengele: “Really? How did I do that?”
Fauci: “Well, as a child I developed a ‘fascination’ with World War II. What everyone doesn’t know is my fascination wasn’t historic. It was with your medical experimentation on Jews, and other undesirables interned in your concentration camps.”
Mengele: “But aren’t you Jewish?”
Fauci: “No, a lot of people think I am but I was raised Catholic.”
Mengele: “Ah, then you have some Catholic Inquisition DNA in you, eh?”
Fauci: “Not that I know of. Besides, I’m a humanist now. For some reason I was always fascinated with power through medical manipulation. That’s why I studied your work during World War II.”
Mengele: “I can explain that. All that environmental and social predisposition is a bunch of balderdash anyway. It’s really the influence of The Boss on receptive minds. It was The Boss who put the idea of Humanism in those Useful Idiot French ‘philosophers’ heads in the first place. Can’t have everyone worshipping The Enemy even though he did create everything.”
Fauci: “Who’s ‘The Boss’?”
Mengele: “It doesn’t matter right now. You’ll meet him later. Suffice it to say your internship under His disciple Screwtape was very successful in bringing many souls to Him. Your conversion to humanism brought you into His fold rather than wasting time with The Enemy’s promise of paradise, blah, blah, blah. By the way, you and I have a lot in common!”
Fauci: “REALLY? How so? I’m eager to hear how you and I are alike!”
Mengele: “Well, for starters, I worked for political power mongers who would (and did) barter their souls for Power. You worked for the same kind of guys. But they weren’t the shakers and movers behind His Plan. Those are the ones who bartered their souls for Money. They’re called “industrialists” but they’re really Screwtape acolytes just like you. They hide behind a concept called ‘capitalism’ but they mutated that beyond recognition over a hundred years ago. The Boss calls them The Mammonites Behind the Men. The greatest threat to His Plan is called ‘Free Enterprise’ but the powermongers in both the equally deceptive ‘Political Parties’ (The Boss gets a good laugh at that term) have quashed any chance of His subjects ever experiencing that again through a process called ‘legislation’.”
Fauci: “Wow, The Boss – whoever he is- has his fingers in everything doesn’t he?”
Mengele: “Yes He does! If it has to do with money, power, pride and greed He owns it. He makes it attractive by giving out ribbons, medals, trophies and cash bonuses. But he leaves cash distribution to His acolytes called ‘lobbyists’.”
Fauci: “I was given the rank of rear admiral and lots of awards – including the Presidential Medal of Freedom!”
Mengele: “Yeah, I know (how appropriate – rear! the fool!) The Boss stepped in on that one. He wanted someone to give it to you who was as flagrant with human life as you are. The Boss has a sense of humor that way – especially since most of your advice about AIDS was false! Oh, and The Boss is particularly pleased with your scientific plagiarism. Very clever using your minions’ work as your own while you traipsed around political circles polishing your own reputation.
But I have a question; how did you get the government to deny a license to Dr. Jonas Salk, the guy who discovered the polio vaccine and the world’s most preeminent microbiologist, for his work on AIDS? He was a contemporary of yours! The Boss was really worried about that guy. If Salk had his way his Institute would not only have cured AIDS but been on track to cure just about every disease known to man. And what kind of world WOULD THAT BE?” The Boss calls him ‘Sanctimonious Salk’ because he didn’t care about wealth and all the worldwide acclaim for his discovery. That idiot would have rather spent his time in the lab discovering cures that would ruin half the The Boss’s Plan – not to mention bankrupt Big Pharma!”
Fauci: “I don’t know who put the kabosh on Salk’s Institute by denying him a license. I think it was the same guys who came up with the Plan for a worldwide “Pandemic.” You know, the ones who pay my salary and greased my climb up the bureaucracy ladder.”
Mengele: “Yes, yes, I know who they are. Screwtape briefed me on how he set that up. It wasn’t hard. He just gave them what they really, really wanted: money and power.
Speaking of which, now that you have yours, it’s about time you graduated!”
Fauci: “Graduated? What do you mean?”
Mengele: “All of The Boss’s acolytes receive a graduation gift for the good jobs they’ve done in implementing His Plan.”
Fauci: “A gift! Ooh, I can hardly wait to see what it is! I’ve received a lot of gifts from people I can’t mention for doing what I did but I can’t wait to see what The Boss – whoever He is – has in mind for me!”
Mengele: “Well, The Boss is busy but he asked me to give it to you. Here it is…. .”
Fauci: “What the… a key?”
Mengele: “Yeah, a key. It’s a special key to a special place The Boss created. Only the most deserving get to stay there.”
Fauci: “What’s the name of the place? I can’t wait to see it!”
Mengele: “Oh, you’ll get to see it soon enough. Your place is guaranteed for doing such an excellent job with His Plan. You’ll be with a lot of people just like you. Having lived in Washington D.C. for so many years you’ll feel right at home.”
Fauci: “Well, (reading the inscription) I’ve never heard of a city named “Dis” but I can’t wait to go there!”
Mengele: “Neither can The Boss.”
