Benedict Arnold, George Washington’s most trusted general during our Revolutionary War, became America’s most infamous traitor. He returns from the “other side” to express his admiration for Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas:
BA: “Wow, Al! I thought I was a dastardly dude when I tried surrendering West Point to the British! But you surrendered the whole damn country!”
AM: “What do you mean, Uncle Ben?”
BA: “What do you mean, “what do I mean”? I was pissed because “they” didn’t recognize what a great general I was. So I figured I could get a better deal from the British if I gave them a little strategic terrain called West Point. I felt a little betrayal of my oath was nothing in exchange for the material gain and the recognition I deserved – even if it was from the enemies of my country. You, on the other hand, not only betrayed your oath of loyalty and service to America, but continue to lie about it to Congress! Your solipsism strains credulity! You are either the biggest imbecile on earth or possess the biggest brass balls in history! You’re staking your life on your hope the average American citizen doesn’t see through that thin veneer of lies you continue to utter.
Obviously, you don’t have to worry about the feckless House of Representatives – they fuss and moan but, really, what can they do when you have the collusion of the Senate, the White House, and all the federal agencies on your side?”
AM: “I still don’t understand what you mean, Uncle Ben. I’ve kept my oath to faithfully execute the laws of the United States and I’ve done an excellent job as Secretary of Homeland Security. America is more secure under my leadership than it has been in its entire history. It just has a few more million voters that’s all – and, more importantly, I’m just following orders!”
BA: “Yeah, the Nazis tried that – its’ called the Nuremburg Defense. It didn’t work well for the 300 war criminals they hung.”
AM: “Well, now that you mention it, where do you think we learned the principle “If you tell a Lie often enough, it becomes the Truth?”
BA: “You and I have so much in common. I compromised not only my principles for what I hoped would’ve been significant material gain, but basic rules of humanity by what I did. You’re way ahead of that game ‘cuz you’re still in office and still getting paid! I can’t believe the government and the people haven’t strung you up by the neck on the steps of the Capitol Building for what you’ve done! The average taxpayer is paying you to commit treason against their country and to financially ruin them – that’s a really good gig if you can get it!
AM: “Well, Uncle Ben, things change. America isn’t the country it was in 1776. Hell, it isn’t even the country it was in 1976. Judge Bork wrote about that in a book called Slouching Towards Gomorrah. I’m not saying I’m violating my oath of office, nor am I admitting to violating the Constitution of the United States by facilitating aliens from other countries entry into the United States without any sort of vetting. And I’m not confessing to increasing the threat level to American citizens to the highest its ever been within our borders.
I actually believe I will be nominated for the Nobel Peace prize for humanitarianism once I leave office (with my luxurious pension, of course).
BA: “How, in the world, do you think you’ll get THAT?”
AM: “Biden promised if I facilitated his agenda to pump up the population to guarantee Democrat supremacy in perpetuity, he would recommend me for the Nobel.”
BA: “I have news for you, Al. Your buddy Biden has lost his marbles and probably doesn’t remember your name – much less where you work and what he promised you. Besides, Biden’s in pretty much the same boat you are when it comes to violating both his oath and the laws of the Constitution. I can’t understand why the American people haven’t risen up to throw the lot of you in prison!”
AM: “I’m not worried about that. He’s not in charge anyway. The real powers promised they’d take care of me when they’ve sealed up this next election. After that, its just ‘repeat, repeat, repeat.’ ”
BA: “You better hope so because neither citizens nor history are kind to traitors. I thought I was going to be welcomed as a hero when I escaped to England (my wife wasn’t too happy being left to face the music, though – but, oh well, she was a bitch and good riddance!) Instead, they treated me like I was – a traitor! I was shunned by everybody and ended up dying a pariah in poverty. You’ve heard of Karma, Al? Beware, because, as you know, Karma is a bitch! Americans are the most contentious culture in the world but one thing that unites them – like every other country in the world – is their visceral hatred of traitors. And, unlike the rest of the world, they all have guns!”
AM: “Al! Al! Al! Calme’ te, tio! America isn’t like that all – at least it won’t be when the VP gets elected. Thanks to the Democrat Party we have places called “Sanctuary Cities!” I can just go live in one of those and be perfectly safe from any of those nasty Christian patriots.
BA: “Even so, I highly recommend you find a place with a strong, high wall around it – just in case. And, not to Dis your agenda, but, regardless of whatever immediate gain you obtain on your side, the penalty for our kind of behavior on this side is, well, hellacious. Your circle here is going to be much worse than mine because my treason failed. The success of yours has splattered so much blood on you, the Boss is going to welcome you to the 9th Circle with open arms.
